Local Tech Startup Launches Revolutionary “Invisibility Glasses” for Remote Workers

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left both tech enthusiasts and remote workers scratching their heads, a local startup, DisappearTech, has launched the world’s first pair of “Invisibility Glasses.” The company claims these glasses will revolutionize the remote working experience by rendering the wearer invisible to their colleagues during video conferences.

“Our goal is to enhance productivity by allowing workers to completely disengage from their virtual meetings while still being present, in a way,” said CEO Tim Hiddens, whose name, coincidentally, reflects the product’s capabilities. “We believe that going invisible will allow people to focus on what really matters-like getting snacks or pretending to pay attention while actually binge-watching shows on another screen.”

The lenses are said to be made from a proprietary blend of advanced optical technology and a dash of good old-fashioned wishful thinking. According to the company’s press release, the glasses utilize a sophisticated algorithm that analyzes the user’s surroundings, creating a personalized invisibility field. “It’s like a cloaking device, but for your Zoom calls,” Hiddens added.

Early adopters, however, have reported mixed results. One user, who wished to remain anonymous, shared, “I thought these glasses were going to change my life, but instead of becoming invisible, I just ended up muted on a call while my cat jumped onto my keyboard. I guess I was invisible to my coworkers, but my cat wasn’t exactly on board with the concept.”

In a recent study conducted by the Invisible Institute of Technology, results revealed that 72% of remote workers felt more distracted than ever since the launch of the glasses, with 90% admitting they still found ways to get caught multitasking during meetings. “It’s a paradox,” said lead researcher Dr. Claire Nottseen. “The glasses are supposed to make you invisible, yet they’ve only highlighted how visible our distractions are in the first place.”

Despite the confusion, DisappearTech is doubling down on its marketing efforts, introducing a new campaign called “See You Later, Productivity” aimed at encouraging workers to embrace their newfound freedom to disappear. “We’re also developing a line of matching invisibility cloaks for more casual settings-like family gatherings or awkward social events,” Hiddens teased.

The glasses are set to hit the shelves next month, and while the startup prepares for what it calls a “quantum leap in remote work culture,” experts caution potential buyers to manage their expectations. “Remember, folks, just because you can’t see your coworkers doesn’t mean they can’t see you,” Dr. Nottseen concluded with a bemused smile.

As the remote work landscape continues to evolve, it seems the pursuit of invisibility-both in the workplace and beyond-is far from over. For many, the silver lining may just be the opportunity to tackle those snacks without judgment. And who knows, perhaps one day we’ll all be able to embrace our invisibility fully-at least until our cameras accidentally turn on.

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Dear readers, as a follow up to this article, a leaked memo from the HR was sent to our editing department. We’d like to share it with you.

Here is the memo:

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📎 Internal Memo — Confidential
From: Human Resources Department
To: All Staff
Subject: Guidelines for Managing Invisible Employees

Dear Team,

As part of our ongoing commitment to inclusivity and innovation, we are updating our policies to better support employees utilizing DisappearTech’s Invisibility Glasses™ during remote and in-office interactions.

Please review the following guidelines to ensure a respectful and productive work environment:

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🧑‍💼 Visibility Protocols

• Do not address invisible employees by saying “Are you even here?” This is considered micro-aggressive and may violate our Presence Sensitivity Policy.
• Assume all invisible employees are present unless proven otherwise. Absence of visual confirmation is not grounds for disciplinary action.

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🗣️ Communication Best Practices

• Speak clearly and avoid phrases like “I can’t see you” or “You’re ghosting us.” These may be interpreted as visibility-shaming.
• When asking questions in meetings, pause for 10 seconds to allow invisible employees time to respond. Silence may indicate deep thought, not absence.

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🪑 Workspace Etiquette

• Do not sit on chairs that appear empty without first checking for invisible occupancy. Accidental overlap may result in ergonomic complaints.
• If food goes missing from the communal fridge, do not assume it was an invisible employee. Investigations must remain unbiased.

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🧘 Mental Health & Wellness

• Invisible employees may experience existential disorientation. Managers are encouraged to schedule weekly “Visibility Check-Ins” to affirm their presence.
• Our Employee Assistance Program now includes “Reappearance Coaching” for those struggling to reintegrate.

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We appreciate your cooperation as we navigate this exciting new frontier in workplace dynamics. Remember: just because you can’t see someone doesn’t mean they’re not outperforming you.

Warm regards,
Karen M.
Senior HR Liaison
“Making the invisible visible—except literally.”

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