Location
Mount Vernon, WA 98274
In an unprecedented turn of events, Bob Jenkins, a self-proclaimed inventor from Springfield, has set the local community abuzz with his claim of having invented a time machine. In a press conference held in his garage, Jenkins showcased a device that resembles a microwave oven with a few colorful knobs and a large, blinking LED timer. His pitch? “Why wait for your food when you can just reheat yesterday’s leftovers in seconds?”
Jenkins confidently declared, “I’ve cracked the code! This baby can send you back in time to relive your fondest memories-or just to the moment before you burnt your toast this morning!” Eyewitnesses report that the device emitted a low hum and a questionable smell of burnt popcorn during the demonstration.
However, experts in both time travel and culinary arts remain skeptical. Dr. Emily Quark, a physicist specializing in temporal mechanics, remarked, “While Jenkins has certainly created something remarkable, it’s crucial to note that a time machine would require a stable wormhole-something his microwave clearly lacks.”
Despite the skepticism, Jenkins has already begun marketing his invention. He has launched a crowdfunding campaign under the cleverly titled “Microwave Your Memories!” promising backers not just time travel, but also the ability to reheat meals from the past. “Imagine savoring Thanksgiving dinner from 2019 while you prepare for this year’s dry turkey!” he enthused.
The community remains divided. Supporters can be seen lining up outside Jenkins’ garage, each clutching Tupperware containers filled with uneaten lasagna, hoping for a glimpse of the miraculous device. Meanwhile, critics have taken to social media, dubbing the invention “The Reheat Machine” and calling for a thorough investigation into its actual capabilities.
In a surprising twist, Jenkins has also announced plans for a companion product: the “Time-Saver Fork,” which he claims will allow users to consume meals faster, thus giving them more time to ponder the mysteries of the universe-like how to avoid awkward conversations at family gatherings.
As the debate rages on, one thing is certain: whether Bob Jenkins has truly invented a time machine or not, he has certainly succeeded in making dinner time a lot more interesting. In the words of one enthusiastic backer, “Even if it doesn’t take me back in time, at least I won’t have to wait for dinner!”
Only time will tell if Jenkins’ invention will change the future of cooking or simply lead to an unfortunate incident involving a pizza and a very confused cat. Until then, Springfield residents will be watching closely-and perhaps setting their microwaves to ‘past’ for good measure.
