Location
Mount Vernon, WA 98274
In what can only be described as a ‘tweet’ of the century, a coalition of local parrots has banded together to form the Polite Parrot Party (PPP), demanding a democratic vote on the implementation of stricter politeness regulations in human interactions. The party’s primary agenda is to ensure that all humans greet them with at least three ‘hello’s and a compliment about their feathers.
The party was officially launched at a local park, where the head parrot, a particularly vocal African Grey named Polly Tics, delivered a rousing speech from atop a swing set. “We are tired of being ignored or, worse, being told to ‘shut up’! Our voices matter!” Polly squawked, flapping her wings for emphasis. “It’s time to put some respect on our names and our squawks!”
The manifesto, which was quickly scribbled on a piece of recycled cardboard, outlines a series of demands, including:
- Mandatory Compliment Days: Each Wednesday, humans must compliment their parrots on their color and intelligence.
- Free Treats for All: A call for a weekly government provision of sunflower seeds and millet to all avian citizens.
- Squawk Rights: A demand that all humans must refrain from using the phrase “Polly wants a cracker” in a derogatory manner.
Local residents are divided on the issue. Some support the parrots’ efforts for politeness, stating that “a little more kindness could go a long way,” while others worry that the parrots might demand more than just verbal niceties. “What’s next? A request for birdhouses to be made of solid gold?” one disgruntled neighbor exclaimed.
The PPP has even established a campaign slogan: “Make Politeness Great Again!” which coincidentally mirrors a bygone political movement, raising eyebrows among political analysts. “Is it just me, or does this sound eerily familiar?” wondered Dr. Feathers McFlap, a local ornithologist and political commentator. “This could either be the dawn of a new political era or an elaborate prank by the neighborhood children.”
As the parrots plan their first rally complete with colorful banners and a live band (featuring a talented group of local canaries), experts are left pondering the impact this could have on local politics. If a group of birds can mobilize for politeness, what’s next? Cats negotiating treaties? Dogs advocating for leash-free zones?
For now, it seems the world will have to wait and see if the Polite Parrot Party can indeed take flight or if they will simply end up in the proverbial birdhouse of political history.
