Location
Mount Vernon, WA 98274
In a move that has left urban planners scratching their heads, the quaint town of Screamsville has rolled out a new system of traffic lights that only change based on the volume of pedestrian screams. Yes, you heard that right: scream-activated traffic lights are here, and they are causing quite the ruckus.
The initiative, spearheaded by Mayor Yelland Shout, aims to tackle the issue of distracted walking while simultaneously promoting physical fitness through vocal exercises. “We found that people were too glued to their phones to notice traffic signals, so we thought, why not make it a bit more… dynamic?” said Mayor Shout during the unveiling ceremony, which was marked by enthusiastic cheers and a few confused gasps.
The new traffic lights are equipped with cutting-edge sound sensors that can detect decibel levels. When a pedestrian reaches a specific volume-akin to a toddler throwing a tantrum or a cat being bathed-the light turns green. If the scream is particularly impressive, the lights will flash in a celebratory manner, rewarding vocal prowess with a round of applause from hidden speakers.
Residents have had mixed reactions. Local high school student and self-proclaimed scream champion, Tina Yellerson, said, “I love it! I can finally put my vocal training to use. I’ve been working on my high notes for years, and now I can stop traffic with just a single scream!” Meanwhile, elderly resident Mr. Grumbleton expressed his disdain, stating, “It’s all fun and games until someone has a heart attack from a teenager’s shriek. I prefer my traffic lights to be a bit less… noisy.”
Despite the controversy, the town has seen a surge in visitors eager to try out the scream-activated lights for themselves. Tourists have begun to flock to Screamsville, armed with megaphones and vocal warm-up exercises, ready to test their lungs against the town’s peculiar traffic system. Local businesses have also jumped on the bandwagon, launching “Scream & Savor” ice cream parlors where customers can scream for their scoops.
Critics have raised concerns about potential accidents and the risk of vocal strain among residents. However, Mayor Shout reassured everyone that safety measures are in place. “We’ve partnered with vocal coaches to provide free workshops on how to scream safely. Plus, we’ve installed a ‘Scream-o-Meter’ to help people track their vocal health,” he declared.
As the trial period continues, one thing is certain: Screamsville has made its mark as a pioneer of bizarre urban innovation. Whether this traffic light system catches on in other towns remains to be seen, but for now, residents are enjoying a new way to make their voices heard-loudly.
