New Study Finds That 90% of Cats are Secretly Running for Mayor

In what can only be described as a monumental leap in feline research, the Institute of Feline Affairs has published a study revealing that a staggering 90% of household cats are not just lounging around but are, in fact, plotting political dominance. The findings suggest that these furry creatures have been observing human behavior for years, taking notes on how to effectively campaign for local office.

“We began noticing unusual behaviors in cats during our observational studies,” said Dr. Whiskers Furlough, lead researcher and self-proclaimed cat whisperer. “At first, we thought they were just being their usual sassy selves, but then we realized they were practicing speeches in front of mirrors and knocking over campaign signs in protest of dog dominance in the neighborhood. It’s all very suspicious!”

The study, which included a sample size of over 1,000 cats from various households, revealed that many of these felines have already initiated their campaigns. Some have even gone as far as to create social media accounts to garner support from their human constituents. One particularly ambitious tabby, known simply as Mayor Meow, has garnered over 5,000 followers on a popular cat-focused platform, where she shares her policies on litter box reform and nap time rights.

Community leaders are taking the news seriously. Local dog activists are already barking mad about the potential feline takeover, claiming that cats are ill-equipped to handle the responsibilities of mayoral duties. “Have you ever seen a cat clean up after itself? They can’t even handle a simple bath!” claimed Rufus, a golden retriever with a knack for public speaking.

In response, Dr. Furlough suggests that humans should consider the merits of a feline-led administration. “Cats are naturally curious, independent, and have a strong sense of entitlement-qualities that could lead to innovative governance. Plus, their ability to effortlessly ignore problems could reduce political stress!”

As the cat campaign trail heats up, many wonder how this will affect local elections. Will humans vote for a candidate who naps 16 hours a day and occasionally knocks over potted plants? Only time will tell. But one thing is for sure: if cats take over, we might want to stock up on catnip and get ready for some serious purring in the halls of power!