Global Conference Declares Monday Officially a ‘Mandatory Nap Day’ to Boost Productivity

In what many are calling the boldest workplace reform since the invention of the coffee break, the International Office Workers’ Alliance (IOWA) convened this week to address the universal dread known as Monday. After hours of intense debate-and reportedly several rounds of power napping-the alliance reached a unanimous decision: every Monday shall henceforth be designated ‘Mandatory Nap Day.’ This groundbreaking resolution mandates that employees worldwide must spend at least one hour napping during office hours, with penalties including forced participation in awkward team-building exercises for those who resist. Advocates tout the plan as a win-win, citing studies that suggest strategic napping improves memory retention, creativity, and reduces the likelihood of sending regrettable emails at 9:03 a.m. Critics, however, warn of potential risks such as increased duvet dependency and a spike in mid-morning pillow fights. Companies are already scrambling to retrofit meeting rooms into ‘nap pods,’ with some tech firms exploring AI-powered lullabies and gentle wake-up alarms featuring motivational speeches from Beyoncé. Meanwhile, coffee manufacturers are reportedly lobbying for ‘Nap-Friendly Caffeine’-a paradox that even scientists haven’t yet cracked. Employees nationwide have expressed mixed feelings, with some celebrating the chance to catch up on sleep, and others worried about the logistics of napping while maintaining professional Zoom backgrounds. As this initiative rolls out in offices from Tokyo to Toronto, one thing is clear: the era of crushing Monday blues with caffeine alone may be over. So, prepare your eye masks and fluff your pillows-come next Monday, it’s lights out on the job, and dreams are the new deadlines.